Ways You Give Your Power Away # 2

A Dozen Ways You Give Your Power Away 

(Keeping you in victim mode)

 Over these next few weeks I will be sharing with you a dozen ways you give your power away, keeping you a “victim”,  probably stemming from childhood. Unfortunately, the ‘victim’ mentality has stayed with most people as they grew up, even though they have the power to change. As an adult you now have the power to take control, accept responsibility and change the things you are not happy with in your life.

However, to get out of that “victim mentality” you need to be aware of  how you are giving your power away keeping you a victim. As I often say “you must know to grow”. My intention in raising your awareness to ways you give your power away, is that you will recognize you are no longer chained to your past experiences, you  have the ability to break free and choose to live a life you love.

#1 is blame, last week’s focus.

#2.       I “Have to…….”                                                                                        

Do you Barrage yourself with “Have to’s” all day long? Do most of your sentences start with “I Have to…” whether it is exercise more, eat better, work, give up…., give in…., take care of…, pay…., say…., find…, make…..I can go on and on.

 Words are powerful, when you use the words “have to” in front of so many things you do in a day you begin to think you don’t have a choice.  You surrender your power of choice to a long list of “I have to” that can leave you feeling powerless and out of control. You begin to move through your day like a robot.

Focusing on “I have to….” throughout your day puts you right into the victim trap, creating a  life that has mastery over you rather than you having mastery over your life.

Are you saying “Yes, choice would be nice. BUT, I do have to work, I do have to take care of my children, pay my taxes, take care of my aging parents, walk the dog, clean the house…..” and on and on. To which I say, No you don’t! There are many people who do not take care of their children, their homes, go to work or pay taxes and they are still alive, aren’t they?

Now what comes up for you? All the “yeah but’s” and the stories about what kind of people they are, right? I hear you, so let’s bring the focus back to you. What would your life look like if you didn’t take care of your children, your aging parents, your health, work or pay taxes?  What came up for you now?

Were you thinking of all the consequences? Of course there is a cost. And if you do not pay taxes you will not get to choose and eventually you will “have to” serve jail time.  Be careful here though, that you do not confuse dire consequences with the inability to choose.

There are many people who actually as a conscious choice, choose to take care of themselves, their families, work and pay taxes.

In summation the terms “I choose” and “I have to” are not merely words. They reflect attitudes.

The person who “chooses” to go to work, pay taxes, take care of themselves and their families is reflecting a much different attitude from the person who believes they “have to” do those same things.

When you choose you are free. When you “have to” you feel trapped, setting yourself up as a victim that has no control over your life.

Now that you are aware using “I have to….” is another way you give your power away, my coach’s request is that you become aware in your own life. Take notice of how many times you start a sentence with the words “I have to…” or respond with “I have to…” in  a day.

Experiment with “I choose” instead of “I have to” and experience how different it feels.

There is power and freedom in choice. It is choice not chance that determines your destiny.

Are you ready to Rise Above It?

There is empowerment in accepting personal responsibility for your life. Contact me.

 

One Response to “Ways You Give Your Power Away # 2”

  1. Deb

    Marion, as usual, you cut to the heart of what I most need to hear. I’ve been saying “I have to” many times a day for the past few months. I’m actually happy with most of those choices, when I think of them as choices. They’re not burdens – they’re blessings.