Comments Off on Ways You Give Your Power Away #1

Ways You Give Your Power Away #1


A Dozen Ways You Give Your Power Away 

(Keeping you in victim mode)

 Over these next few weeks I will be sharing with you a dozen ways you give your power away, keeping you a “victim”,  probably stemming from childhood. Unfortunately, the ‘victim’ mentality has stayed with most people as they grew up, even though they have the power to change. As an adult you now have the power to take control, accept responsibility and change the things you are not happy with in your life. 

It’s like the big elephants you see at the circus. If you ever walked around outside of the circus grounds you would see these huge elephants standing around in the open. They are not in cages and no one is afraid they will wander off. They have a leather tether around their ankle and that’s what keeps them tied to their post. So how does a simple leather strap around the ankle of these huge strong elephants keep them from breaking free? It started when they were young. They had heavy duty chains on their ankle and  the baby elephants would struggle to get loose, pulling with all their might over and over to no avail. No matter how hard they pulled or tugged their chain didn’t break. They got trained to stay where they were chained. Now as full grown adults the trainer need only put a leather tether on the ankle because as soon as the elephant feels the least bit of resistance it stops pulling. and in reality all it would take is one good tug and that elephant would be free. He does not know that, so he stays chained to his past experience.

My intention in raising awareness to ways you give your power away, is that you will recognize you are no longer chained to your past experience and have the ability to break free.

1. Blaming others and circumstances;                                                                                                        

Blaming is the number one way you give your power away. Rather than accepting the responsibility for how your life is, you  make excuses, point fingers, justify.

Anything and anyone is to blame — except you. Spouse, family, friends, Parents, insurance company, your health, the economy…

When you constantly blame others, you develop a victim mentality. You are saying to your brain and all those around you “It’s not my fault..if..she.. it..they are causing all of my difficulties and suffering.”  It is only natural then with that thinking you encase yourself with anger, resentment and negative thoughts — all of which are surefire ways to bring on fatigue, sadness, stress and even chronic disease.

 Are you blaming others more than you think? Have you ever:

  • Blamed traffic/slow drivers for being late to an appointment?
  • Blamed your kids, co-workers, boss or spouse for a lousy day?
  • Blamed your “crazy busy life” for not getting out to walk or go to the gym?

They all seem like valid reasons for blame, so where would your personal responsibility be in these situations?

  • Planning your time; Leaving a few minutes earlier for your appointment, taking a different route that time of day
  • Realizing that external situations and the remarks of others can harm you through your thoughts-but only to the extent that your thoughts allow them to. Accepting responsibility for your thoughts means no one is to blame for your lousy day, other than yourself.
  • Acknowledging you are stressed with your “crazy busy life”, skipping the gym, eating “fast food”  more often and not taking time for yourself.

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. – Wayne Dyer

Are you ready to stop playing the “Blame Game”? You can Rise Above It!

There is empowerment in accepting personal responsibility for your life. Contact me.



Comments Off on “Being Heard”

“Being Heard”

Do you ever feel like you are speaking into thin air? Is anyone really listening?

What part of “trim” did the hair stylist not get?  Wasn’t that “your idea” your colleague just proposed to your boss, making it the best he has heard in weeks?

Why can some command attention381977_471593592878912_1049478781_n with what may seem the most boring information ever heard; while others are ignored no matter what they say? Do you seek to be heard?

Many individuals such as Dale Carnegie, John Gray, and Brian Tracy believe there is a skill set involved with being heard.  Do some avoid eye contact when you are trying to be helpful, or do some check their cell phone, or do your friends drift off as you are pouring your heart out to them?  What “you” have to say, what “you” feel, what “you” think, and what “you” believe is definitely important.  Being heard is connected to listening, to yourself and to others.  Remember that emotions are connected to being heard and to listening. Emotions become dangerous when they are ignored, suppressed, or disowned, they do not just go away.  These emotions will dis-empower you.   How can you Rise Above It?  Listen to your emotions, “hear” what is being said honor, acknowledge, recognize, process, bear witness to and surrender them. Letting go to become empowered.  What possibilities may appear for you when you do choose to listen and really hear?  How can you be guided through your pre-conceived ideas that have hung around for years?

Success and happiness await!  Are You Ready to rule your own emotions and to be self-empowered?    YES !  




Comments Off on Expressing Emotions Beneficial

Expressing Emotions Beneficial

Here is something I invite you to give serious consideration to….. Emotions need to be acknowledged, expressed…AN EMOTION IS NOT DANGEROUS UNTIL IT IS DISOWNED, SUPPRESSED OR IGNORED.  How so? It doesn’t go away, it just goes somewhere else. Either you project it onto others and/or compress it into your own body. This in turn generates more feelings—shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and failure, that you push down, ignore or disown, creating a cycle that results in an endless barrage of twisted thoughts and false rationale assuring you that you are justified in giving up, so go ahead eat that “one” piece of cake more or create more of the chaos around you that keeps you from addressing your pain.

If you think about it, you can probably pinpoint when in your life you learned it wasn’t safe to express your emotions and at times it was even dangerous, maybe when you were very young.

Were you told things like “Stop crying or I’ll really give you something to cry about?” “Suck it up, it’s not that bad” — was your exuberance for life and fun often shot down with a strong look of disapproval or punishment?

Can you see how these emotionally charged messages would teach you to suppress, disown, and dishonor your feelings?

Could it be that your emotions were ignored, minimized, or even laughed at by parents, teachers or others? Whenever or whatever the cause at some point in your life you learned to dishonor, disown and suppress so as not to really feel your own feelings.

There is no denying emotions are powerful forms of energy. If you are to scared or scarred to feel a feeling, its energy still has to go somewhere. Do not be misled, what you don’t express you suppress, and it eventually comes out anyway. Sometimes in the form of a bulge here then there, an outburst at someone, health issues, depression or all of these and more.

Where does your disowned emotional energy go?

Are you aware of how that has affected you to this day? Some examples of how disowned emotional energy might show up in your life; Overeating, overweight, in debt up to your eyeballs, living in constant chaos, poor health…. Pause and reflect, what are some of the results you personally are experiencing today because of this disconnection from your feelings?

It is so easy to see how dis-empowering suppressed emotions can be, isn’t it? Thus the only emotions/feelings you really need to fear are those you disown, suppress or try to ignore.

What would happen if you actually did acknowledge your feelings, honor them, process them, bear witness to them, surrender them, and feel how empowered you become? This was the very discussion I was having with my Dr. this morning.  WOW, you would no longer have this frightening energy ruling your thoughts and actions. You would now have the freedom to rule your emotions instead of them ruling you.

Are you ready to rule your own emotions by acknowledging them, honoring them, processing them and letting them go? Yes? Then you my dear are strongly on your way to being self-empowered!!

New Self-Empowerment Group coaching sessions are starting in May http://raicoaching.com/events-3/  I invite you to join us.


Comments Off on Water – Essential to Life

Water – Essential to Life

I cannot stress this enough, your body needs water! Each day, on average, you lose some two quarts of water that is eliminated through the skin, lungs, intestines, and kidneys. Just by exhaling you lose about one pint of liquid a day. How much more so with sweat from exercise or exertion?

Replacing this water is essential to prevent being dehydrated.  Waiting  until you’re thirsty to drink is too late,  you are already dehydrated. And it is not just your mouth that feels the effects of a lack of water!

Inadequate water consumption wreaks havoc on your whole system, especially during exercise/activity. You need water to carry nutrients to your cells, remove toxins, lubricate joints and your colon, to regulate metabolism and body temperature among other important functions.

Dehydration can also cause mental confusion. Your brain, which is  mostly water, is extremely sensitive to any dehydration or depletion of water content.

Those of you who are prone to water retention may think the solution is to reduce your water intake. Quite the contrary, when the body experiences a water deficit, it actually works hard to hold on to every available drop, storing it in such places as the feet, the hands, and the legs. Give your body what it needs—enough water. And remember, the more salt you eat, the more water you will retain to dilute it.

Water is essential for a healthy body and you cannot live without it. A man can live about a month without food, but, he will die in about a week without water.

Since the human body is composed of 80% water, do you think it is important to keep it that way? Was this just some fluke, a random act of evolution or could it be a purposeful act of creation? When is the last time you had a full glass of water?



Comments Off on Crash or Rise Above It!

Crash or Rise Above It!

                     How does simple, yet creative become so out of control?

When you are working outside in 97 degree weather, with warm turkey and dull knives!

This is what happened the weekend of the BBQ cook-off competition, another couple, my husband and myself compete in.


This year’s “mystery meat” for the Iron Chef Competition was a whole 11 Lb. frozen turkey. After much tossing back and forth of ideas, the decision is made turkey kiev, kind of like chicken kiev except I will use pie dough instead of bread crumbs, and it will be “baked” in a smoker.  Relatively simple, I see it so clearly, cut off 8 thin slices of the turkey breast, (assuring 1 for each of the judges) pound flat and thin, wrap around a frozen pat of tarragon butter, roll up in pie dough toss in smoker for 30 – 40 minutes, Voila, this is going to be great! I get to work knowing this is even better than last year’s entry that we took 5th place with.

What happens when the vision you have created in your mind, starts falling apart right in front of your eyes? That moment that you know with all your being this is just not going to work? Has this ever happened to you? Can you relate to that feeling of crashing hopes and so wanting to throw your hands up, walk away and cry!.

What do you do when there are 6 judges and you manage to carve off 2 barely there cutlets a few strips and lots of chunks of breast meat? You suck up your tears of frustration, rise above it and get creative!

As I look through stinging tears at the time on the clock, the warm turkey strips and chunks, melting tarragon butter and piecrust that is soft and stretchy, creativity strikes, turkey kiev bundles, presented on a bed of white rice mixed with sundried tomatoes, chopped fresh parsley and marinated artichoke hearts. I share the vision with the group, we are pumped and excited. Yes! We have a winner now! Gary cut the dough the best he could, I put together 12 bundles, gave them a pretty little twist at the top, handed off to Maralyn to put in the pan and off to the smoker. Big sigh, high fives all around and back to work, the clock keeps on ticking. Pressure! Rice is cooked, ingredients chopped, mixed in, 15 minutes to put it all together and over to the judges tent. We check the turkey bundles and reality strikes. They are not going to be done in time for entry, they need another 5 minutes!!! The smoker never got hot enough. Now what? No time for tears we have 10 minutes to get something together and over to the judges. Once again rise above it, move on and get the job done.

Rick to the rescue. When he saw what was happening with the turkey cutlet carving he went to work on plan B, 6 bacon wrapped turkey meatloaves grilled to perfection! We presented them on my rice and came in 12th out of 67 entries. Not bad.  As for the turkey bundles, they were delicious! Definitely a winner! We all enjoyed eating them. I came home with a winner new recipe, appreciating the value of teamwork and once again understood the importance of being able to “Rise Above IT”!

I invite you to consider, when faced with the feeling of crashing hopes and so wanting to throw your hands up, walk away and cry, to Rise Above It. Who knows what you will discover about yourself and/or others.Smile





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Mindset Matters

Your mindset and choice can impact your health and deeply influence your healing.

Every journey starts with a thought, then depending what we feed that thought, we develop a mindset towards that particular journey before we even start.

Close your eyes right now and picture what you will look like at the age of 90.  How do you look? Is that how you want to look at 90? 

There is a certain mindset or belief that kicks in, that has been formed by preconceived ideas and experiences that will ultimately determine the outcome. Your mindset is so important on this journey of your health– yourself

What are you thinking right now? 

Stop and listen.

Do you have healthy happy thoughts?

In America; vitality at any age is still viewed as icing on the cake. This is so different from Eastern cultures where vitality is the focus.

You’ve been taught that you are designed to disintegrate with age, be bent over carrying the weight of the world on your back, dull of eyes and mind, declining into chronic degenerative disease.

You do have a choice. You can choose to change that program.  If your goal is to be a healthy vibrant 90 year young, man or woman, you need to plant those seeds NOW.

For a journey to have a happy ending there must be a pleasant mindset along the way.

Your mind is fertile  ground ready to grow whatever is planted there.  …For whatever a man is sowing. This he will also reap. Gal. 6:7

Think healthy happy thoughts!


Comments Off on What is your health- Yourself?

What is your health- Yourself?

It is you taking care of you, being a willing and active participant in your own health-care.

The human body is designed to heal itself and knows how to do that. The more you learn the easier it is to take care of your body. Please know you are never too young or too old to take charge of your health. It IS your responsibility to understand your medications and your disease.

Understandably there are many questions, concerns, ideas and fears regarding your health and healthcare. Statistics of one kind or another are coming at you from all directions. There are advertisements everywhere working to convince you that all your problems will be solved by taking this pill or that pill.

While in that same sweet convincing voice saying.…”Oh and you might develop sausage finger, bulging eyeball, cauliflower ear and sudden death may occur”. “Should any or all of these symptoms occur, just call your Doctor.”

Yes, this country may have all the latest and greatest in technology and medication, but does that give you permission to surrender your health – yourself, without question, thought, choice or involvement on your part?

Making the decision to look after your health—yourself is the ultimate in healthcare.

Your body is always working hard to keep you healthy. How much easier will that job be if you feed it healthy food, and exercise?

I do need to be very clear that the information or suggestions presented here is  for supporting your quest for better health awareness, knowledge and involvement in any decision you need to make regarding your healthcare. It is not intended to diagnose treat or cure any condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional

This is not a hidden way to encourage drastic, radical approaches to your health –yourself. We will embark upon this journey together, one thought, one bite, one step, and one action at a time toward a better stronger healthier you. As with any journey there will be discovery, challenge and adventure.

Sound exciting? Then let’s get started.


Ask yourself, what is one small change that I can make today? May I suggest 1 more glass of water, or 1 more piece of fresh fruit or a small salad? Are you willing to do that? How will I know you have done it?

Courage, Determination, Perseverence